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About Deviant charlotteFemale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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Slowly.
Slowly I felt you drifting away
Contact growing less each day

I watched you talk to everyone else
Then crawl in my bed with lovelorn thirst

To have your way with me at night
And I wanted it, and you, despite…

All of the hollow lack of interest
And the cut short calls with no witness

No witness other than myself
When you’d put me on a waiting shelf

To spend your time on more important things
Like fantasy games that made you feel like kings

And when I’d travel a hundred miles
this still would be how time was whiled.

Id sleep all day in your wonderful city,
You not making plans always seemed such a pity

And we never went in that shopping centre
The one that people say is retail’s “Mekka”

The one you know I’d have loved to see,
But you chose what you wanted, over me

And the day you cancelled on my family last minute
For a long planned Christmas walk, and your pre-paid ticket

To discover instead you had a lads only gathering
Told how you’d all watched porn – you were actually bragging

And the innumerable times I didn’t know where you were
At parties and bars to find you drunk with some girl

And no, you never overstepped that line,
But you preferred their company to mine every time

I think that hurt more because the more it occurred,
The less, as a person, I felt I was worth

And yes, there were parties where you’d be at my side…
But only if you hadn’t already had head or a ride

By the end I felt even my body not enough,
As you laughed with your mates that you’d all buy me a boob job

Like I should be grateful that you’d all kindly invest
Clearly it was hard for you putting up with my breasts

This was by far the worst thing of all…
you knew my infertility is why they are small


You may think this an unfair version of our story
because you did call me gorgeous and made me feel lovely

and these years were, in truth, some of my best,
I will not deny that you gave my life zest

But I know myself, and I know what I’m not
And I’m not boring or stupid or a whore without thoughts

And I stopped waiting around for when you could be bothered
Did replying to texts really make you so smothered?

If I was upset you wouldn’t bother with typing,
You’d send me links to porn as if that would be helping

So I guess you can hate me for ignoring you that last week
But I needed to see how long it would take you to think

“We haven’t spoken for at least several days”,
See, you often forgot that phones work both ways

And I should have told you when I was upset,
but you disregard feelings that don’t match logic you set

I hope you are happy,
I hope she’s robust,
I hope she can tell you when enough is enough
I hope you have everything, that really is true
And I hope you remember I can exist without you.
When something breaks, fill in all the cracks with molten gold, and place it on a mantel
Take winter’s chill and pour it into cocktail glasses
Teach children to wish on tear drops as well as eyelashes
Marvel at all the colours in a bruised sky, it is never just grey
Lie awake at night and listen to the birds confusedly sing to the city lights
When you can’t decide what to wear, play dress up like when you were 3 with dungarees and shoes 5 sizes too big
Remember there is a rainbow hiding in every ray of sunlight
Don’t run for shelter whenever it rains, there was once a time when nothing delighted you as much as a puddle
Stand still on bustling city streets just to remind yourself you can
Don’t apologise to people with flowers, ask to meet them in a garden; emersion will always be more healing than a vase
Listen to songs you don’t like but never learnt the words to
Surprising others is satisfying, but surprising yourself is better
Walk along the cracks in the pavement because they’re a city’s laughter lines
Tell someone they’re beautiful everyday, if you’re alone, tell yourself
Don’t laugh at all the dreamers, dreamers make things happen
Learn people’s names and actually remember them
Stay awake all night to watch diamonds appear one by one across the dark
When you think of someone and can’t help smiling, tell them
Remember that not everyone will like you, but that’s ok, you won’t like everyone either
Work harder than you thought you could, and play longer than you should too
Be aware of your posture when you order a drink at a bar or sit at a desk for 12 hours
Visit new york at least once in your life, they say apples are great when you can’t sleep,
Make an effort to read more, and not just on holiday
Wear what makes you feel incredible, and you will be
Never forget where you come from, but that you can always travel too
Remember endings are beginnings, and even dandelions can push through freshly laid concrete
See the little things
See the dawn and the dusk,
See everything;
There is glory in it all.

deviantID

char-kisses-lotte
charlotte
United Kingdom
have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: the script
  • Reading: your thoughts
  • Watching: it fall to the ground
  • Playing: silently

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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much for the fave! :iconlovepowerplz:
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:iconjiali:
JiaLi Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Thank you xxx
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
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:iconjiali:
JiaLi Featured By Owner May 27, 2012
thanks for the favourite babes :heart: :heart: :glomp:
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:iconlookeme:
lookeme Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank ye for that fave :)
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:iconlittlefishpenguin95:
LittleFishPenguin95 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks so much for the fav! :huggle:
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:iconravenwritingclaw:
ravenwritingclaw Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks for the :+fav: :glomp:
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:iconesther-duraes:
esTHer-duraes Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi! :wave:

Thank you so much for adding me to your watch list! :heart: I'm so glad you like my artwork :)

Thank you! :blowkiss:
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:iconawakenasleep:
awakenasleep Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2008
thanks 4 the fave!! have a good year!!
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:iconjin-tze:
jin-tze Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2008
Hi, thanks a lot for the fav :)
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:iconsnghigurashi:
snghigurashi Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks for the fav!:glomp:
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